Where's Judge Judy when you need her?

The second court date for my lawsuit against the bikers from hell was yesterday. Long story short, he made up a story, said he'd never had my bike-- just the tank-- admitted he screwed up the paint but said he offered to fix it for me the day I picked it up. That's not true. He offered me a free oil change, and didn't offer to repaint it until way late in the game, after he found out I was suing him. That made me seem like I just couldn't be pleased no matter what, which was his intention. The judge asked me if I would let him repaint the bike now, and I said no. I realized that wasn't helping me any, but I'd rather walk away penniless than take my bike back to them. I'm 100% certain they would do something to it. A hundred percent certain. When the judge asked me why I wouldn't let him redo it, I said I didn't trust him. He asked why, and I said something to the effect of, "He has no integrity." Well, what I was *about* to say was that every time he's worked on my bike, something else has mysteriously been wrong with it when I picked it up, but I didn't get the chance to finish because it turns out that nothing gets a good laugh in a Covington County courtroom like the word "integrity." They found that hilarious, and by "they" I mean the judge. The judge who, by the way, reopened this case for the defendant even though he didn't show up for court the first time, and the law says that the judgment automatically goes in my favor and that he has 30 days to appeal. Forget the law though, right? The judge can do whatever he wants. Speaking of integrity. *cough cough small town good ol' boy system cough cough*

In the end, I got half my money. Or rather, I got judgement for half of what I asked for. Minus court fees. And minus another $50, and I'm not sure why. So no, I didn't get half. I got $350. Half would've been $400. Plus court fees. I'm not a mathematician, but I think it adds up to Deadpan Ann getting fucked. I proved my case beyond any shadow of a doubt, yet didn't get full judgment? Bullshit. Judge Judy would've ripped him a new one.

I did tell the bikers that I was gonna cost them a hell of a lot more than $800 before it was said and done, because I'm gonna tell this story to everybody who will listen. I said that right in court, and was surprised when nobody said a word. They know they did me wrong. I plan to make good on my promise, too, starting with this--




That's a mockup of a magnetic decal my friend is making for me. It will go across the top of the tank, right above the botched paint. I pick it up tomorrow and I can't wait to slap it on and go for a ride.

Brace yourself, dear reader, because I'm about to give you a piece of earth shattering news.

I joined a gym. I know. Joining a gym doesn't cause weight loss, but maybe it's a start. I joined Curves, to be more specific. It's not expensive, and I think it's going to help me. There's some accountability involved, and the workout is impossible to screw up. They have a bunch of exercise equipment in a big circle. One machine might be a rowing machine, then the next one works your legs somehow, and so forth. Between each machine is a "rest station," which is just a platform thing where you do whatever you want to keep your heart rate up. Basically, you just move in place however you want. It's set up so that every body part gets worked, but you never wear out any one part, and you can let your muscles rest for short periods between machines without letting your heart rate drop too low. There's a cd playing overhead that plays this pump-me-up music, and every 30 seconds a voice tells you to change stations. So you're only in one station for 30 seconds. The whole workout takes like 28 minutes, I'm told.

They measured me and weighed me today, and also asked me a bunch of questions about medical history, what my motivation is for wanting to do this, etc. They ask you where you want to be as far as weight, dress size, etc., then they take measurements and figure out what it will take to get you there. There's also some help with nutritional stuff, which I need.

I'm going to give it all I've got, and it is either going to kill me or make me stronger. I'll keep you updated, assuming I survive.